


Not Straightforward

by idrilhadhafang



Series: Scavenger Poe Trilogy DVD Extras [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Character Swap, Alternate Universe - Role Reversal, Childhood Friends Darkpilot, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Sensitive Poe Dameron, Heavy Angst, Jedi Poe Dameron, Kylo Ren in Love, M/M, Pilot Rey, Poe Dameron Is A Mess, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Poe and Rey Switch, Rey Solo, Scavenger Poe Dameron, Scavenger Poe scraps, my attempt at a slow build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-06
Updated: 2019-06-06
Packaged: 2020-04-11 20:55:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,202
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19117528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/pseuds/idrilhadhafang
Summary: The evolution of the scavenger Poe Dameron and the future Supreme Leader Kylo Ren’s relationship — all through a Force Bond.





	Not Straightforward

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: Slow Build
> 
> Disclaimer: I own nothing.
> 
> Author’s Notes: Because I really need to get back to my Scavenger Poe story. Don’t know how much of a slow build it is, though.

The hyperspace ride to Ach-To, Poe can still feel Kylo Ren’s pain echoing in his head.  
  
It’s something he knows he doesn’t like. It’s all too easy to see him as a monster, as the man who ruined so many lives. Even as he lies awake, he can’t help but think of how Ren had all but broken down on the bridge. The spark of pity that he felt, in between the shock that the man who had relentlessly pursued him, hurt him, hurt Rey, was really Ben Solo.  
  
He wishes it were a straightforward feeling. Straightforward hate. And yet, as Poe lies awake, he can’t help but grieve for a boy named Ben Solo, and what he could have been.  
  
***  
  
Poe has a bond mate, and he can’t say that he likes it.  
  
That’s putting it mildly. After what Kylo Ren did to Finn, to Han, to Rey (his own sister!) and plenty more, Poe is torn between still caring for and utterly hating this man. It’s not a comfortable feeling, he reflects, and he wishes that Ren was a stranger so that he could hate him more completely. But he can’t. Maybe that’s the worst part, this lack of straightforward hate.  
  
It’s one night when Kylo appears to him, shirtless (causing Poe to make a joke while not...displeased with Kylo’s body. He hates that he’s noticing that at a time like this if he’s to be perfectly honest) that Poe asks why he did all this. “You weren’t meant to be the stuff of nightmares, Ben,” he says.  
  
He takes some satisfaction in Kylo flinching a little. All at that name. Ben. Serves him right, a nastier part of Poe thinks, and then he feels bad. He’s not ordinarily an angry person. That’s not Poe Kes Dameron, the sweet, cheerful man who’d help a BB unit in need.  
  
Then Kylo says, “You really have no idea what’s going on, do you? How Skywalker,” and here he says the name with such vicious hatred that Poe bristles. “Betrayed me. Stabbed me in the back.”  
  
“Luke wouldn’t do that. You betrayed him.”  
  
Kylo offers his hand. Says that if he wanted to kill Poe, he’d do it in a more direct way. After a while, Poe takes his hand, and sees. Sees Luke looming above a young Ben Solo, hands outstretched like the hand of a childhood boogeyman. Reading Ben’s mind, before igniting his lightsaber —  
  
“Luke would never,” Poe finally says. “You’re nothing but a lying piece of — ”  
  
“I don’t lie,” Kylo says. “Let alone about things like that.”  
  
Poe can feel it, deep in his bones. Kylo isn’t lying. Luke really did try to —  
  
“Ben,” he says. “I’m sorry.”  
  
(Later, Luke confirms what Poe already knew. Tries making excuses. Even as he leaves Ach-To behind, Poe can’t help but feel like one of his childhood heroes, a thing of legend, has become a monster)  
  
***  
  
The elevator ride when he gets to Snoke’s flagship is suitably uncomfortable, Poe can’t help but think. After a while, Kylo says, “I didn’t expect you to come here.”  
  
“I had to,” Poe says. “Someone had to help you.”  
  
Silence.  
  
“I saw it, Ben. I saw what you can be.”  
  
“Did you?” Kylo says. “I saw the same for you.”  
  
Poe looks at him in surprise. How exactly can the Bond show two different possibilities? That’s not...typically how Force Bonds work, is it?  
  
“What did you see?” he says.  
  
“I saw you at my side.”  
  
Poe feels a sudden, ice-cold stab of fear in his gut. The very possibility that he could fail, turn into the very man he fought against...he can’t bear it.  
  
Kylo looks at him. “You don’t have to be afraid. You don’t have to keep running from me.”  
  
“Who says I’m afraid?” Poe says.  
  
***  
  
It’s after Kylo kills Snoke personally that he asks Poe to join him. There’s something simply wrong in his eyes; it almost reminds Poe of someone with a terrible fever, unfocused and staring. There’s something wrong behind Kylo’s eyes, and Poe can’t take it happening to him.  
  
“Poe.” He sounds so gentle even as he speaks. “I want you to join me. We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy!”  
  
“You can’t be kriffing serious.”  
  
Silence. Then Kylo speaks again. “I am serious, Poe. More serious than I’ve ever been. They separated us once. They don’t have to separate us again.”  
  
He looks so vulnerable. Poe impulsively thinks of a boy with pale skin and dark hair, pleading with him not to go. Himself, as a small boy, reassuring Ben it would be all right. Some wounds can’t fully be cleaned out, though. Poe doesn’t know it then, but he knows it now.  
  
“Why me?” Poe says.  
  
“You don’t understand, do you? I love you, Poe. I always have.” And across their Bond, Poe can feel that Kylo is sincere. That he does love him, more than Poe can understand, more than Poe can ever know.  
  
“Don’t, Ben.” Poe’s voice cracks, and Kylo stares at him, uncomprehending.  
  
“You’re still holding on,” Kylo says. His voice is strained. “Everything I ever did was for you.”  
  
Poe swallows. He can practically feel his heart breaking.  
  
“Join me,” Kylo says. “We won’t have to be separated again. Please.”  
  
He holds out his hand. For a moment, Poe wants to take it, but instead, he can’t help but see the fruits of Kylo’s labors over their Bond. Cities aflame. Families in ruins. He can’t do it.  
  
He reaches through the Force —  
  
— and the Skywalker lightsaber hovers in midair between them. It wavers, struggles.  
  
Only a ship collision breaks the hold. Poe goes tumbling back and all goes black.  
  
***  
  
It’s when he wakes that he sees Kylo on the floor, unconscious. He can’t just leave him, but there isn’t much time. He can practically feel the warning alarms blaring in his mind — the Resistance is in danger. He has to go.  
  
He leaves, breaking into a run towards one of the escape pods. Snoke’s escape pod, he can only presume. He doesn’t run out of fear, but out of sheer, shaking grief and sorrow. It’s all he can do to not break down, even though stars willing, he wants to do it.  
  
He can’t afford to break down. And while he’s in the Falcon later, piloting it, letting Chewie have his turn manning the turrets, he doesn’t. It’s only later in the privacy of his room, when they’re in hyperspace heading for Bespin, that he loses it.  
  
He cries. The tears won’t stop streaming down. He grieves for a boy named Ben, for everything that happened. He wants to run away from every memory of Ben Solo, At the same time, he doesn’t want to.  
  
“Poe?”  
  
Rey. Poe raises his head even as the pilot enters his room, cautiously. “Are you okay?”  
  
Poe takes a deep breath, wipes his eyes. He didn’t mean to cry like that. It’s like something in him finally burst.  
  
“Ben.” he says. “I saw him, Rey. I saw Ben.”  
  
Rey doesn’t have to ask anymore. She knows. She sits next to him on the bed and holds his hand while he weeps.


End file.
